November 11, 2008 was a year that showed me that God is truly present in my life. My husband Dennis died. He had been diagnosed with cancer. I probably seemed like one of the most pitiful creatures on the earth. Holding and praying with him in my arms, while holding the phone to my ear, listening to someone who had been my confidant for years pray with me, my strong knight in shining armour gave up the ghost.
This was a beginning of a new journey. One that I did not believe I was prepared for. I didn’t think that I had the strength to hold on, but by the power of my Father Yahweh, I held on and have been holding on for dear life every since. There are so many stories and testimonies that I would love to share, but this one tells you a little about me and trials I have been through.
This testimony really gave me a sense of security and confidence that Yahweh was on my side and he truly did love me. I found that I am important to Him.
One morning I was going about my daily routine of getting the children ready for school. I got a phone call. It was a friend and prophetess who lived in New Jersey. After we had talked for a while she begin to tell me that God wanted me to ask him for something.
I told her that I was alright and God was helping me just fine. I was coping and I was not going to ask him for anything now. I did not want to seem like I was complaining. Truly what I felt was weakness and if the least thing happened I felt I would break into because I was so fragile. My friend told me to ask him for something, He is waiting on you. I did not know I was so lonely. I did not know the level of pain that I now bared.
After I hung up the phone, I broke down in tears and talked with the Lord. I told him that I did not want to complain. I am lonely and I hurt Father, If you
could just come and hold me. I just need a touch from you. Hold me Father and I know everything will be alright.
After the prayer I went on about my daily routine. Children came home from school and I prepared dinner. Homework was done I believe. I say I believe because I was living in limbo. I was just going through the motions. Yet, I still talked to people about their problems and continued to encourage and and pray with them. I sometimes was aching on the inside. I thought I would die from this enormous hole in my heart. I felt so empty. It felt like I was torn apart. Saying, Lord help me was said many times throughout the day.
I had not been to bed in such a long time. I slept on the couch or set up in the love seat. I had done this previously to keep an eye out on the children and also be able to help my husband if he needed me. One of my children had to be continuously watched but that is another story for another day.
Later that night while all the other children were sleeping. I must have drifted asleep in the chair. I woke up later, about two o’clock in the morning and to my surprise there was someone holding me. They were sitting on the arm of the chair. It seemed like they had been sitting there for a long time. You know sometimes how you can rest your head on a pillow and if you have lain there for a while you can feel the warmth? That is what it felt like. I asked the Lord which one of the children was here holding me? It felt so good just being held. At that moment I felt so peaceful. Knowing it had been a long time and I was feeling a little guilty for sitting there, being comforted by my child, I finally opened up my eyes. As I looked up there was a bright light. There was no child. As I saw the light, I remembered the prayer. When I saw the light the brightness disappeared. I begin to weep and tell the Lord thank you. I felt his love and he embraced me. He had answered my prayer.
I never will forget this. He took time to hold me. I have shared this story with many others. I am reminded that Yahweh is no respecter of persons. What he has done for others, He will do for you. If there is a need in your life, know this, you can always go to your Father. He loves you and wants to hear from you, although we know he already knows. We have not because we ask not.
I hope that this will encourage someone as they read this. Your storm may not have been the storm or trial I was going through. I found out that no matter how great or small the problem. Yahweh will always take you seriously. He wants to help. Talk it over with him.
Father,
I ask that you would touch those who are reading this and have a need for prayers to be answered. I ask that you forgive them for things they have done knowingly and ignorantly. You sent your son to die for the sin of the entire world. Draw them closer to you. You have said in your word that no man can come nigh thee unless you first draw them. Your word also tells us that if you be lifted up you will draw all men unto you. Hear their cry my Lord. Wipe their tears away as you removed mine. Strengthen their hearts and give them peace. I know their lives will be changed if you are a part of them. Show yourself as you have shown yourself unto me and others. You have not given them a spirit of fear but power, love and a sound mind. Fear is torment and comes from the enemy. Bless them and their children. Let them experience the love as I have experienced your love. Give them the joy and peace that comes from knowing who you are. This I ask in the name of Yahshua, Amen.